This is from Paula from Mexico.
She asks, "Low self-esteem is a constant problem for me.
People say I'm intelligent, spiritual, obedient, and funny,
but being beautiful and cute isn't one of those things.
How can I deal with this?
How can I stop caring about what others see or think about me?
Why is it so hard for us to accept the way we look
or the way we talk?"
Well, first of all, I would say that maybe this young woman
is being too hard on herself.
I like to think of not the word "self-esteem,"
but the word from the Young Women values:
"individual worth."
And before that comes "divine nature."
If you understand who you are as a daughter of God,
then you know that you are of worth to Him,
that you do have individual worth.
And I would capitalize on the things
that you know that you're good at.
And I was also thinking when you read that question--my mother
used to tell me, "Beauty is as beauty does."
Our actions reflect our beauty more than physical appearance.
And so I just look at young people,
and if I can see the light of the gospel in their eyes,
they're beautiful to me.
And I think this young woman is beautiful.
She just doesn't recognize it.
And I hope that she will pray to know even more, inside
of her mind and her heart, that she truly is a daughter of God
and that she does have a divine nature,
and that she will use that divine nature
to bless other people and not be bothered if people don't say,
"Well, you're beautiful," or those kind of compliments,
because that's not what really matters.
The thing that really matters is the compliment
"You are a daughter of God, and you have worth to others
and to your Heavenly Father."
That's what really matters.
This was directed to Sister Bednar.
Can I add just a line?
He'll make the answer even better.
No, I won't.
I'm not trying to add on what you said.
I think in our contemporary world,
beauty is equated with physical attractiveness.
And that is a very limited and shallow definition,
because young people grow up and turn
into wrinkly people like us.
So there are people who would say that Sister Bednar is
a nice-looking elderly woman.
Now, given our life together--
Are you an elderly man?
Yeah, of course I am.
OK.
There is a beauty in Sister Bednar's countenance
that's not physical: in her eyes,
in the light in her countenance.
Sister Bednar was gorgeous as a young woman.
Now, that beauty is not in her physical attractiveness.
She is very physically attractive.
She's beautiful.
But it's not restricted to just physical attractiveness.
I've often said about Sister Bednar--we have things
in the Church that we talk about that are rather abstract.
So we talk about faith as a principle.
But what does faith look like?
What is it?
Well, one of the Young Women's virtues is virtue.
If you want to know what virtue looks like,
it's sitting right here.
And that's beauty.
So at her age, there's not another woman on this planet
that I think is as beautiful as Sister Bednar--because
of what's in her, not what's on the outside.
That was beautifully said.
One thing that I think we can all do
is, every day we can pray in our morning prayers,
"Heavenly Father, help others to see the light of the gospel
in my countenance, in my eyes, in my face, in the way
I treat other people, in my smile."
And I have not met a person in all the
traveling that we've done that does not have a great smile.
Everyone has a beautiful smile and beautiful eyes.
And you can shine the light of the gospel through your face.