Well, early intervention is always,
of course, where we're trying to go
in preparing young people for these challenges
that life hands them.
So there are lots of opportunities
to talk about this if we are willing to take them on,
but sometimes as parents, we're a little bit nervous
about how to do that.
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Listen to your child.
Sometimes we're so anxious to make sure
that child understands what they need
to do that we forget to listen.
Listen to what they have to say.
Listen to their fears.
Listen to the things that they are experiencing.
The youth will have more confidence
in the collaboration of Mom and Dad listening,
and they will hear, and you'll understand their heart.
I've heard from some parents that the best way they've found
to do it is to just ask their kids,
as they're growing up teenagers--in the car driving
down the road, in the course of general
conversation--"How's your life going?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how well are you
managing school these days?
What's the challenge?
What's the good thing about school?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how well are you managing media,
or how well are you staying away from things
you shouldn't be looking at and doing
things you should be doing with the internet
or with social media?
Where are you on that one?
How much do you want to talk about that?"
We want to teach our children that we are sexual beings,
that that is part of who we are as children of God,
as human beings.
That it's not that we are children of God who
happen to have this problematic feeling and energy and desire,
that that is part of who we are, and life
is about learning to take our natural instincts
and inclinations and align them with the will of God
rather than ignoring them and shoving them to the side
or allowing them to run wild.
We can also just ask them questions like "How are you
and your friends managing this set of problems--depression,
anxiety, sports, stress, planning for the future,
pornography, sexuality?"
We can include it with many other things
to give our kids an opportunity to open up
if they're willing to, but they don't
have to until they're ready.
They'll know there'll be another opportunity later if they're
not ready to do it right now.
Parents, remember the world's going
to teach your children whether you like it or not.
Some of you feel inadequate, but just by opening the door
and talking and speaking about it makes a difference.
So if you can come forward and share that,
that's better than what the world's teaching them.
Your children will hear that and feel that it's real,
so please don't be afraid to talk about it.
Even let them know, "Hey, I'm about to make
some mistakes here.
I'm going to get nervous.
I don't know what I'm going to say,
but I'm saying it because I love you."
The world's not saying that they love them.
The world's telling them that this is self-fulfilling,
that this is satisfaction.
"This is pleasure beyond anything you can imagine."
That's not what we want them to hear.
We want to hear it from people who love them.
So speak up.
Speak wrong.
Make mistakes, and just go from there.
One of the biggest things our kids are afraid of
is disappointing their parents.
I hear this again and again and again from young people.
They are terrified that they're going
to disappoint their parents and that their parents are
going to feel ashamed of them or angry with them.
Giving them this up-front lets them know,
"I expect you to make mistakes.
I expect all of us to make mistakes,
and I want you to know I'm on your side in that process.
You can count on me.
I am not the enemy you have to defend yourself against.
I am the person who wants to help you.
We're all in this together, and we
can help each other learn from our mistakes
as well as our successes."
There is hope.
We can do this.
The power and the influence of good
is so much stronger than that that is of darkness.
We know that light dispels darkness,
and so as we help children realize
that they have that light and that they
have the right and the courage to stand and say,
"I'm not going to be a part of this."
We realize that our children will be exposed to pornography,
so we need to arm them and to be able to talk now as they're
little and keep talking.
And if you didn't talk to them when they were little,
talk to them today.
Above all, create an environment of love with your child.
Your child, my child, my missionary--any of us who we
have a stewardship for--needs to know that we love them and that
we love them enough that we want to encourage them to speak
to us.
If a parent reacts negatively and has a bad reaction
to a child who comes to them really seeking help,
it's going to impair their future relationship.
It's far better, in my humble opinion--and as I've learned
from sad experience in my own family,
working with my own children--it's better to make
sure that those children know, above all, "My dear, my son,
I love you, and I'm so grateful that you would have
the confidence in our relationship that we could talk
about this."