We are living in an electronic world.
It's not going to go away.
And one thing that parents may not understand
is that the use of electronics is actually impacting
how the brain develops.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
What I'm talking about--the fact is when you're born,
you have 100 billion neurons.
And those neurons don't multiply,
and they don't divide.
But they learn.
They learn how to crawl.
They learn how to talk.
They learn how to run.
Well, in the electronic world, that daily stimulation,
which triggers a chemical called dopamine in the brain,
changes how we respond to things.
We don't memorize like we used to.
We don't use tactile activity like we used to.
We don't go outside and play like we used to.
Kids spend most of their time in a virtual world.
Well, that virtual world creates expectations
of instant gratification, no patience,
and a dopamine addiction, which triggers pleasure.
So parents need to understand that these electronic devices
aren't just fun gadgets.
They aren't just providing information.
They're actually stimulating their kids' brains
in ways that can create cravings, can create addiction,
and can create depression and anxiety.
My strategy when I first had children--my strategy
for keeping them safe from pornography was praying
my little heart out that they would never, ever see it.
And as we all know, with a little bit of life experience,
you realize that that's not very realistic.
And I knew I needed a different approach, a different plan.
I needed to be more proactive.
And somewhere along the line, I heard
a quote that was really meaningful to me,
and it was, "Every time you learn something new,
your child is immediately safer."
And I held on to that, and that has been my mantra.
So I continue learning.
I continue growing for the sake of my kids.
It's really important to me to help parents understand
how to protect themselves from this cultural hyper-focus
of sexuality.
It really has come through this internet age that
produces accessibility to the largest pornographic library
in the history of mankind.
And you can see it on TV.
You can see it on cell phones, tablets.
And now your modern home, they probably
have between three to eight access points.
And I think in the old days, we used
to say things like, "We'll keep the computer in a public place,
help it be safe."
And that's still true.
But what we have forgotten is that every handheld device
became a new access point.
And I think parents didn't realize
that this little device had as much internet accessibility
as their big computer.
And so there's this dilemma in helping them understand that
that has--they have to protect their children.
They have to do things about that.
They have to prepare for that accessibility.
The first key is to make sure that our children are well
grounded spiritually.
I know we need to put filters in place.
We need to have rules about how much time they can use
on their--the internet or social media.
And those are really good things that parents can help with.
But until they really know why, until they understand
who they are and why are they here on this earth
and what their goal is, it really won't stick.
Once they understand that, then they
are also motivated to follow through on those rules.
They see it as protection, not as
limitations to their freedom.
And they understand that agency--they have all
the agency.
Heavenly Father's given them agency.
But they need to learn to exercise it righteously
and responsibly.
If we as parents can teach them that--that they are responsible
and that Heavenly Father knows who they are and loves
them--they're much more motivated to follow those rules
that we put in place as protections in the home.
So when I work with parents, I emphasize three key principles.
And those principles are watch, guard, and guide.
We have to watch closely our children and their access.
We have to guard them the way a shepherd would guard his flock.
We have to protect them from the outside world.
And we have to guide them.
And that part is critical.
That part means we have to teach them about sexuality,
talk about sexuality, help them expect sexual feelings
and how to manage those sexual feelings.
But all three of those points--watch, guard,
and guide--are a parent's role.
The parents are the shepherds.