We can talk all we want about "Read the scriptures and pray,
go to the temple, do all those things."
And those can be very, very helpful.
But if I don't know how to have a relationship
with another human being, how am I
going to have a relationship with my Father in Heaven?
How am I going to learn to trust that He is willing to listen
to anything I have to say, that He's open to the experiences
that I'm struggling?
He's not surprised by anything I'm
struggling with in this life.
I'm not going to shock Him.
I'm not going to scare Him.
He's open to all of these things.
But I have to know that in a relationship with another human
being before I can really grasp that Heavenly Father is going
to be equally loving, equally soft with me, gentle with me,
helpful to me--that He has the power to redeem these things
and to turn them into good in my life as I grow and as I learn.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
There really are two levels of trust building.
One is implicit and almost unconscious.
And those involve principles that we all do every day but we
never think about--things like eye contact, smile, tone,
the way I speak to my children.
The other, then, is rather than implicit principles
of connection, but explicit principles.
And these principles are things like playfulness,
expressions of love, our overt actions, movement--meaning,
how playful am I with them?
Do I wrestle with them?
Do I tease with them and play with them?
These kinds of principles of connection,
if they're not present, then there is no relationship.
Now, sometimes that's not because of a negative thing.
Maybe it's because parents work a lot
and they're trying really hard to provide a living.
And so sometimes we want parents also
to know that it's not always about
the time but the quality of your presence
when you're with a child.
Are we really allowing moments where our spirits connect
so that we have open communication with them, so
that they feel safe and we feel safe
and we're constantly aware?
Can we sense when a child has an experience that
makes them feel that they've done something
wrong that they're carrying and maybe they're not
comfortable with, and they need to talk
about but they don't know how?
Sometimes those little moments that we share with a child
where we just tune in, where the Spirit guides
us to realize that they need a little bit of time
with Mom or Dad.
We need to be the safest place they can come.
We need to be caring and not easily shocked, not
easily reactive.
We need to listen with love and concern.
And we need to be safe so that they will come to us
when they have a problem.
When children are little, when they
know that their parents are listening to them, and as they
progress through their youth and then their teenage years,
that they know that they can always talk to Mom and Dad
and it's safe.
And they're not going to be chastised,
but they're going to be helped.
And they're going to be nurtured.
And they're going to be taught.
And the power of the family council
is, if family members are open enough,
that they will really share what they're concerned about.
So many times a family member can have a problem,
and they don't know what to do with it.
They think they're going to work it out by themselves.
And that's a very dangerous thing
to do, and particularly if they're
leaning towards pornography or if they're
leaning towards drugs or anything of that nature
in their teenage years.
If they can feel like they've got an anchor
and the anchor is home with Mom and Dad,
and "I can talk to them and my siblings about anything
because we are together, we will get through this together,"
makes a big, big difference, I believe.
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