In the concluding days of His mortal ministry,
Jesus gave His disciples what He called a new commandment.
Repeated three times, that commandment
was simple but difficult: "Love one another;
as I have loved you."
The teaching to love one another had
been a central teaching of the Savior's ministry.
The second great commandment was "Love thy neighbour
as thyself."
Jesus even taught, "Love your enemies."
But the commandment to love others
as He had loved His flock was to His disciples,
and is to us, a challenge that was unique.
Actually, President Monson taught us last April:
"Love is the very essence of the gospel,
and Jesus Christ is our exemplar.
His life was a legacy of love" (end of quote).
Why is it so difficult to have Christlike love for one
another?
It's difficult because we must live
among those who do not share our beliefs and values and covenant
obligations.
In His great Intercessory Prayer, offered just
before His Crucifixion, Jesus prayed for His followers:
"I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them,
because they are not of the world,
even as I am not of the world."
Then to the Father, He pleaded, "I
pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world,
but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil."
We are to live in the world but not be of the world.
We must live in the world because, as Jesus taught
in a parable, His kingdom is like leaven, whose function is
to raise the whole mass by its influence.
His followers cannot do that if they only associate with those
who share their beliefs and practices.
But the Savior also taught that if we love Him,
we will keep His commandments.
The gospel has many teachings about keeping the commandments
while living among people with different beliefs
and practices.
The teachings about contention are central.
When the resurrected Christ found the Nephites disputing
over the manner of baptism, He gave clear directions
on how this ordinance should be performed.
Then He taught this great principle (quote):
"There shall be no disputations among you,
as there have hitherto been; neither shall there
be disputations among you concerning
the points of my doctrine, as there have hitherto been.
For verily, verily I say unto you,
he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is
of the devil, who is the father of contention,
and he stirreth up the hearts of men
to contend with anger, one with another.
Behold, ... this is my doctrine, that such things should be done
away" (end of quote).
The Savior did not limit His warning against contention
to those who were not keeping the commandment about baptism.
He forbade contention by anyone.
Even those who keep the commandments
must not stir up the hearts of men to contend with anger.
The father of contention is the devil.
The Savior is the Prince of Peace.
Similarly, the Bible teaches that "wise men turn away
wrath."
The early Apostles taught that we should "follow after
the things [that] make for peace"
and ""[speak] the truth in love," "for the wrath of man worketh
not the righteousness of God."
In modern revelation the Lord commanded that the glad tidings
of the restored gospel should be declared "every man to his
neighbor, in mildness and in meekness," "with all humility,
... reviling not against revilers."
Even as we seek to be meek and to avoid contention,
we must not compromise or dilute our commitment
to the truths we understand.
We must not surrender our positions or our values.
The gospel of Jesus Christ and the covenants
we have made inevitably cast us as combatants
in the eternal contest between truth and error.
There is no middle ground in that contest.
The Savior showed the way when His adversaries confronted Him
with the woman who had been taken
in adultery, in the very act.
When shamed with their own hypocrisy,
the accusers withdrew and left Jesus alone with the woman.
He treated her with kindness by declining to condemn her
at that time, but He also firmly directed her to "sin no more."
Loving kindness is required.
But a follower of Christ, just like the Master,
will be firm in the truth.
Like the Savior, His followers are sometimes
confronted by sinful behavior.
And today, when they hold out for right and wrong
as they understand it, they are sometimes
called bigots or fanatics.
Many worldly values and practices
pose such challenges to Latter-day Saints.
Prominent among these today is the strong tide
that is legalizing same-sex marriage in many states
and provinces in the United States and Canada
and many other countries in the world.
We also live among some who don't
believe in marriage at all.
Some don't believe in having children.
Some oppose any restrictions on pornography or dangerous drugs.
Another example familiar to most believers
is the challenge of living with a nonbelieving spouse or family
member or associating with nonbelieving fellow workers.
In dedicated spaces like temples, houses of worship,
and our own homes, we should teach the truth
and the commandments plainly and thoroughly
as we understand them from the plan of salvation
revealed in the restored gospel.
Our right to do so is protected by constitutional guarantees
of freedom of speech and religion,
as well as by the privacy that is honored even in countries
without formal constitutional guarantees.
In public, what religious persons say and do
involves other considerations.
The free exercise of religion covers most public actions,
but it is subject to qualifications
necessary to accommodate the beliefs
and practices of others.
Laws can prohibit behavior that is generally
recognized as wrong or unacceptable,
like sexual exploitation and violence
or other terrorist behavior, even when
done by extremists in the name of religion.
Less grievous behaviors, even though unacceptable
to some believers, may simply need
to be endured if legalized by what a Book of Mormon prophet
called "the voice of the people."
On the subject of public discourse,
we should all follow the gospel teachings to love our neighbor
and avoid contention.
Followers of Christ should be examples of civility.
We should love all people, be good listeners,
and show concern for their sincere beliefs.
Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable.
Our stands and communications on controversial topics
should not be contentious.
We should be wise in explaining and pursuing our positions
and in exercising our influence.
In doing so, we ask that others not
be offended by our sincere religious beliefs
and the free exercise of our religion.
We encourage all of us to practice the Savior's Golden
Rule: "Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,
do ye even so to them."
When our positions do not prevail,
we should accept unfavorable results graciously
and practice civility with our adversaries.
In any event, we should be persons
of goodwill toward all, rejecting persecution
of any kind, including persecution based on race,
ethnicity, religious belief or nonbelief,
and differences in sexual orientation.
I've spoken of general principles.
Now I will speak of how those principles should apply
in a variety of familiar circumstances
in which the Savior's teaching should
be followed more faithfully.
I begin with what our young children
learn in their play activities.
Too often, non-Mormons here in Utah
have been offended and alienated by some of our members
who will not allow their children to be friends
with children of other faiths.
Surely we can teach our children values and standards
of behavior without having them distance themselves or show
disrespect for any who are different.
Many teachers in school and church
have grieved at the way some teenagers, including LDS youth,
treat one another.
The commandment to love one another
surely includes love and respect across religious lines
and also across racial, cultural, or economic lines.
We challenge all youth to avoid bullying, insults,
or language and practices that deliberately inflict pain
on others.
All of these violate the Savior's command
to love one another.
The Savior taught that contention
is a tool of the devil.
That surely teaches against some of the current language
and practices of politics.
Living with policy differences is essential to politics,
but policy differences need not involve personal attacks that
poison the process of government and punish participants.
All of us should banish hateful communications
and practice civility for differences of opinion.
The most important setting to forego contention and practice
respect for differences is in our homes
and family relationships.
Differences are inevitable, some minor and some major.
As to major differences, suppose a family member
is in a cohabitation relationship.
That brings two important values into conflict:
our love for the family member and our commitment
to the commandments.
Following the Savior's example, we can show loving kindness
and still be firm in the truth by foregoing actions that
facilitate or seem to condone what we know to be wrong.
I close with another example of a family relationship.
At a stake conference in the Midwest about 10 years ago,
I met a sister who told me that her nonmember husband had been
accompanying her to church for 12 years
but had never joined the Church.
What should she do? she asked.
I counseled her to keep doing all the right things
and to be patient and kind with her husband.
About a month later, she wrote me as follows (quote):
"Well, I thought that the 12 years
was a good show of patience.
But I didn't know if I was being very kind about it.
So I practiced real hard for over a month,
and he got baptized."
[LAUGHTER]
Kindness is powerful, especially in a family setting.
Her letter continued (quote), "I'm even
trying to be kinder now, because we are working
on a temple sealing this year" (end of quote).
Six years later, she wrote me another letter:
"My husband was just called and set
apart as the bishop of our ward."
In so many relationships and circumstances in life,
we must live with differences.
Where vital, our side of these differences
should not be denied or abandoned.
But as followers of Christ, we should live peacefully
with others who do not share our values
or accept the teachings upon which they are based.
The Father's plan of salvation, which
we know by prophetic revelation, places us
in a mortal circumstance where we
are to keep His commandments.
That includes loving our neighbors of different cultures
and beliefs as He has loved us.
As a Book of Mormon prophet taught,
""[We] must press forward, having ...
a love of God and of all men."
As difficult as it is to live in the turmoil surrounding us,
our Savior's command to love one another as He loves us
is probably our greatest challenge.
I pray that we may understand this and seek
to live it in all of our relationships and activities,
in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Amen.