A young father recently learned of the passing of his
extraordinary second-grade teacher.
In memory of her, he wrote, "Of all the feelings and
experiences I remember, the feeling most prevalent in my
mind is comfort.
She may have taught me spelling, grammar, and math,
but far more importantly, she taught me to
love being a child.
In her classroom, it was OK to spell a word
wrong here and there.
'We'll work on it,' she'd say.
It was OK to spill or tear or smudge.
'We'll fix it, and we'll clean it up,' she would respond.
It was OK to try, OK to stretch, OK to dream, and OK
to enjoy those pleasures that come from the insignificant
things that only children find exciting."
One of the greatest influences a person can have in this
world is to influence a child.
Children's beliefs and self-worth are shaped early in
their lives.
Everyone within the sound of my voice has the power to
increase a child's confidence in himself or herself and to
increase a child's faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus
Christ through the words they speak.
In Helaman, chapter 5 we read, "And now, my sons, remember,
remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is
Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your
foundation." These were the words Helaman taught his sons.
And we read on: "And they did remember his words; and ...
they went forth ... to teach the word of God among all the
people." Even though Helaman's sons were persecuted and put
in prison, those words they had heard never failed them.
They were protected and encircled about
with a pillar of fire.
Then came a voice, saying to their captors, "Repent ye, and
seek no more to destroy my servants.
...
It was not a voice of thunder, neither was it a voice of
great tumultuous noise, but behold, it was a still voice
of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper, and it did
pierce even to the very soul."
We can learn from that voice from heaven.
It was not loud, scolding, or demeaning.
It was a still voice of perfect mildness, giving firm
direction while giving hope.
How we speak to our children and the words we use can
encourage and uplift them and strengthen their faith to stay
on the path back to Heavenly Father.
They come to this earth ready to listen.
An example of a child listening
happened in a fabric store.
The store was crowded with shoppers when it became
obvious to everyone that a mother was panicked because
she had lost her young son.
At first, she was calling his name.
"Connor," she would say as she briskly
walked around the store.
As time passed, her voice got louder and more frantic.
Soon the store security officers were notified, and
everyone in the store was involved in
looking for the child.
Several minutes passed with no success of finding him.
Connor's mother, understandably, was becoming
more frantic by the minute and was rapidly yelling his name
over and over again.
One patron, after saying a silent prayer, had the thought
that Connor was probably inside the store and may be
frightened as he listened to his mother scream his name.
She mentioned this to another women involved in the search,
and they quickly made a plan.
Together they began to walk between the tables of fabric,
quietly repeating the words, "Connor, if you can hear my
voice, say, 'Here I am.'"
As they walked slowly toward the back of the store
repeating that phrase, sure enough, they heard a timid,
soft voice say, "Here I am." Connor was hiding between the
bolts of fabric under a table.
It was a voice of perfect mildness that encouraged
Connor to respond.
To speak to a child's heart, we must know a child's needs.
If we pray to know those needs, the very words we may
say have the power to reach into their hearts.
Our efforts are magnified when we seek the direction of the
Holy Ghost.
The Lord said, "Speak the thoughts that I shall put into
your hearts, ... for it shall be given you in the very hour,
yea, in the very moment, what ye shall say."
Unfortunately the distractions of this world prevent many
children from hearing encouraging words that could
shape their view of themselves.
Dr. Neal Halfon, a physician who directs the UCLA Center
for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities,
refers to "parental benign neglect." One study observed
an 18-month-old and his parents.
"'Their son seemed happy, active, and engaged, clearly
enjoying time and pizza with his parents.
...
At the end of dinner, Mom got up to run an errand, handing
over care to Dad.' Dad ... started reading phone messages
while the toddler struggled to get his attention by throwing
bits of pizza crust.
Then ...
Dad re-engaged, facing his child and playing with him.
Soon, though, he substituted watching a video on his phone
with the toddler until his wife returned.
In both cases, [Dr.]
Halfon observed a dimming of the child's internal light, a
lessening of the connection between parent and child." The
answer to our prayer of how to meet our children's needs may
be to more often technologically disconnect.
Precious moments of opportunity to interact and
converse with our children dissolve when we are occupied
with distractions.
Why not choose a time each day to disconnect from technology
and reconnect with each other?
Simply turn everything off.
Now when you do this, your home may seem quiet at first.
You may even feel at a loss as to what to do or say.
Then as you give full attention to your children, a
conversation will begin, and you can enjoy listening to
each other.
We can also influence our children through the words we
speak and also through the words we write to them.
Nephi writes, "We labor diligently to write, to
persuade our children ... to believe in Christ, and to be
reconciled to God."
President Thomas S. Monson shared the experience of Jay
Hess, an airman who was shot down over North
Vietnam in the 1960s.
"For two years his family had no idea whether
he was dead or alive.
His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to
write home but limited his message to less than 25
words."
President Monson asks: "What would you and I say to our
families if we were in the same situation--not having
seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would
ever see them again?
Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as
having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable
counsel, Brother Hess wrote [the following words]: 'These
things are important: temple marriage, mission, college.
Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a
year.'"
What words would you write to your children if you had 25
words or less?
The young father I spoke about earlier, who wrote about his
memories of his second-grade teacher, is now raising a
beautiful baby daughter.
He feels the heavenly trust that has been placed in him.
And she grows up, what will be her future?
What will he say that will sink deep into her heart?
What words will encourage her, lift her, and help her to stay
on the path?
Will it make a difference if he takes time to whisper, "You
are child of God"?
Will she remember someday that her father often said the
words, "I love everything about you"?
Isn't that what our Heavenly Father was saying to His Son
and to all of us when He said, "This is my beloved Son," and
then He added, "in whom I am well pleased"?
May the words we speak and write to our children reflect
the love our Heavenly Father has for His Son, Jesus Christ,
and for us.
And then may we pause to listen, for a child is most
capable of speaking great and marvelous things in return.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.