I was a huge daddy's girl.
I loved, loved my dad.
He started to grow distant, and then he was never around.
I knew something was wrong, and I was scared.
One night when I was nine, my mom sat me down.
She said, I know that you know something's wrong.
Your dad's addicted to pain pills and he needs help.
And I think in that moment, I instantly grew up.
He served 18 months in a federal penitentiary.
I was so angry.
I didn't talk to him.
I didn't spend time.
I think I hugged him goodbye.
And I was scared; I was in that moment
when I didn't know what was going to happen.
I think the best way to describe it is when you're leaning back
in a chair and you're on the back two legs,
and it's that split second when you know you're going to fall
and there's nothing you can do about it.
It's that uncertainty.
And I think that's the best way to describe
it is that tipping point when you know
and you're just trying to find footing.
And that's what my life was like for six or seven years.
And in those moments, I would turn to my mom.
And she was great, but it wasn't enough.
I had to turn to my Savior and ask, "Please help
me be OK for the next hour.
Please help me be OK today.
Father, help me forgive because I don't know how.
I don't know if I can."
And I learned to speak to my Heavenly Father
as if He were my friend.
The one thing that I know is that my dad would be dead
if he hadn't gone to federal prison
because he hit rock bottom and decided to change.
And through Jesus Christ, my dad was able to physically change.
He came back to me.
There's not just a point in time when
we were like, oh, everything's good now.
It took us time.
He had to work to gain our trust back.
And we had to work to forgive.
Forgiveness is hard.
And I want people to know that just because you haven't
forgiven them yet and just because you don't feel whole
yet, you will.
You just have to hold on.
And it hurts.
And you'll mess up--you'll get angry.
But if you'll hold on, things will be OK again.
Jesus Christ is real.
And I know that through Him, things
can be OK again and better than you ever
imagined they could be.
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