And so a local competition opportunity came up,
and I went for it, and I did it.
And you know, I didn't place in the competition or anything.
But shortly after, my mom and I, we received a phone call
from a producer on The Voice.
Wow.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I have to admit at the onset of this, I'm a pretty big fan.
Thank you.
Because I'm a huge fan of those singing competitions on TV,
and you are no stranger to those.
Maybe we start there.
Yeah, I mean, I've had some pretty crazy experiences
with doing singing competitions.
I started out doing singing competitions growing up.
That's kind of how I got started singing and performing.
Those were some of my first performance experiences.
And then when I was 16, I had the amazing opportunity
to go on The Voice, which was incredible.
And I learned a lot from that.
And I met so many amazing people.
And before going on the show, I actually had stage fright.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and so it was a really big thing,
you know, for me to be on a stage like that,
in front of all those people and--
And cameras, and--
I've got a lot of pressure.
Yes, yeah, exactly.
So I'm not really sure how I got through it,
but I was very blessed.
So you talked about that you were
16 when you were doing The Voice but that you
had done some singing competitions before that.
Let's go back to the very beginning.
What was that like?
And was it you saying, "Mom, I want
to do this," or Mom saying, "You're going to do this?"
At first, it started out, "Mom, I'm going to do this,"
because I didn't start out with stage fright or those fears.
When I was first starting out, I was 13.
Actually, no, I was 11 when I had my first performance.
It was just a little talent show.
Like at school or something?
Yeah, it was actually at my church.
Yeah.
So that was my first performance.
It was like my debut, when everybody in my ward
discovered that I could sing.
And so it was no longer a secret.
You know, the secret was out.
And I realized in that moment how much I loved singing.
And I remember my parents, they discovered my voice
because they heard me singing in the house.
I was singing a Little Mermaid song,
and they didn't know it was me.
They thought it was like a recording.
And it was around that time, and that was kind
of just when it was discovered.
And I immediately had this love for singing.
I loved it, and I felt passionate about it.
And I knew I wanted to do something with it.
So when I was 13, I started doing
competitions, just locally.
And it was a really good way to get myself out there on a stage
and, you know, practice performing, I guess.
But sometime along there, you went
from not having stage fright to having stage fright.
How did that happen?
Well, going into high school, I was
going into this big high school with thousands of kids,
and I was coming from a small middle school
where there was like 50 kids in my grade.
And so I had a really established friend group there,
and I kind of--I felt like I had a place that I belonged,
and I felt like I fit in.
And going into this high school, I
was overwhelmed with how many kids were there.
And it's interesting because the high school
that I went to, most of the kids have grown up together,
like from elementary school up.
So they all just know each other and have their friends already,
like, literally 90% of them, probably.
And so I felt like not only am I new to this school,
but I also--nobody knows me, and I felt like everybody else knew
each other, if that makes sense.
So I had a really difficult time putting myself out there
and making friends.
And I started to kind of close up.
And I lost a lot of confidence in myself.
And I just felt really alone.
And so for my first two years of high school,
I didn't have any friends at school.
I was alone.
That's a rough way to go.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
It was really lonely.
And every time the lunch hour would come, usually
that's the hour everybody looks forward to the most,
but I dreaded it the most because I didn't have anyone
to hang out with, anywhere to go.
I would just go sit under a tree outside and like--just to chill
by myself or just walk around, trying to make it look like I
wasn't the loner that I felt like on the inside.
Not to mention that like at that time, just anyway,
I think everyone feels like, even if they have thousands
of friends, they still feel very alone because they're
in that sort of teenage, awkward, who am I,
what am I doing.
How did music help you in that time?
It helped me immensely, actually.
When I was a sophomore, and I was
in the middle of this really dark place,
I guess you could say, I sat down at my piano one day,
and I just needed to vent how I was feeling, you know,
release those emotions somehow.
And so I wrote my first song that I ever wrote,
and it's called "Irreplaceable."
Years down the road, it ended up being the first single
that I was able to release.
But writing that song helped me a ton.
It was very healing for me, and it was just a way
that I could get my thoughts and feelings out.
Because at that time, I felt so alone,
and I felt like nobody understood how I felt.
And at that point in time too, I didn't really
see the light at the end of the tunnel yet.
And I was just over here feeling so insecure in myself,
didn't love myself like at all during that time.
And it was very healing to be able to write that and put
my feelings to words, you know?
So as you put the feelings to the words that are out there,
did you then share that song, or was it
sort of a covered up, you kind of kept it to yourself
till you were ready?
Yeah, exactly what you just said.
I kept it to myself until I was ready.
And I didn't have a platform at that point either,
so I didn't think I was ever going to release that song.
I literally wrote that song for myself.
And so it's been really cool because it is released now.
And it's been really cool to see how
it's been able to relate to other people
and help other people.
Because I know, self-esteem and confidence and feeling
like you're not good enough is really, really common,
especially with young people.
You know, the stage fright that I had,
it came from all those insecurities.
And I was so in my head, and I had so much anxiety socially,
social anxiety.
I just--even talking to people was terrifying for me.
And so being on stage in front of all those people,
I would just think, like, "I probably
look so dumb right now."
I've always been a perfectionist too,
and I was extreme perfectionist then.
So I was just really hard on myself.
So the way that I went from--that I made that jump,
long story short, in my sophomore year,
shortly after I wrote that song I was just telling you about,
I was kind of just fed up and tired of letting my fears get
the best of me.
And I wasn't happy, you know?
I was not happy.
I knew I was hiding my talents, and I wasn't
doing what I wanted to do.
And so I made a goal for myself that I
was going to put myself out there, no matter
how hard it was.
And so a local competition opportunity came up,
and I went for it, and I did it.
And you know, I didn't place in the competition or anything.
But shortly after, my mom and I, we received a phone call
from a producer on The Voice.
And they had seen the video posted from that--of
my performance at that competition.
It was posted on YouTube, so they had seen it.
Because the producers, they'll go and scout out
singers to invite to audition.
So they saw it, and they wanted me
to come audition for the show.
I didn't, you know, put myself out there to do it.
I never would've in that state of mind that I was in.
It kind of just like, fell in my lap, the opportunity.
And at first, I cried.
I was so terrified and just had kind of an emotional breakdown,
really.
And I was this close to saying no.
I was so close to saying no.
What made you say yes?
My mom had a big part to play in it, honestly.
She really encouraged me to do it.
But also, I prayed a lot about it.
And I just felt on the inside, I felt very strongly
like it would be a huge mistake if I were to say no.
And I would always regret it, and I would always
wonder what if.
So I went for it.
I took the leap, and I'm so glad that I did
because it changed everything.
Well, and I have to take issue with a little bit
because you talk about hiding talents.
And you've been--we've been chatting now for a bit,
and you have not yet sung anything for me or with me.
So let's--can we do it?
Can we have a little music?
Yeah, for sure.
I have a song called "Body Image."
And I wrote this recently, fairly recently, in Nashville,
actually.
And this is just all about kind of embracing who you are.
And you know, it's not all about the physical,
but embracing your beauty from the inside out.
Because I am a very strong believer
that if you're confident from the inside out,
it will show through.
And you'll be able to more easily love who you are
and be confident.
So this is "Body Image."
[MUSIC - MADILYN PAIGE, "BODY IMAGE"]
[VOCALIZING]
(SINGING) Did you know you're a temple, glittering gold?
Whoever told you you're anything less?
We should address the voices in your head.
Better yet, what they say you should be.
We were taught to bury deep what we've hidden underneath,
secrets we're not born to keep.
Oh.
Viewers, cameras, everyone, likes,
and hates then comes undone.
Nothing lost and nothing won.
Oh.
Imagine me loving me, what would that be like?
Reflecting everything I could be if I
tried to see my own strength, all the beauty that's inside.
'Cause I live it in, and I could fix it and this body image.
And this body image.
Did you know there's an answer?
One you can find.
Did you look inside, what doesn't feel right,
and what you have to find out is pretty, pretty girl,
well all the world's waiting here
for you to do what only you could do.
Me loving me, what would that be like?
Reflecting everything I could be if I
tried to see my own strength, all the beauty that's inside.
'Cause I live it in, and I could fix it and this body image.
And this body image.
We were taught to bury deep what we've hidden underneath,
secrets we're not born to keep.
Oh.
Viewers, cameras, everyone, likes and hates then
comes undone.
Nothing lost and nothing won.
Oh.
Imagine me loving me, what would that be like?
Reflecting everything I could be if I
tried to see my own strength, all the beauty that's inside
because I live in it, and I could fix it, in this body
image, in this body image, in this body image,
in this body image.
And I could fix it.
As we've talked about your journey,
you kind of--you lead us into when you start competing
on those national television shows.
I would imagine that the journey has continued
since doing those shows to where you are now and especially
within that song.
How have those demons or those struggles continued?
And how have you been able to come out and conquer over
it, or have you?
Yeah, good question.
You know, going on The Voice didn't just magically solve
my issues with being confident.
And it gave me a lot of confidence because it pushed me
so far out of my comfort zone, and it showed me
what I was capable of doing and that I
was capable of doing something I thought was impossible.
But yeah, for sure, it's been a journey for me,
and it's still--I'm still on that journey.
And I feel like being confident is kind of a lifelong journey,
you know?
Constantly, we're having to remind ourselves every day
that we're good enough because there's so
many things out there in social media
and other outlets that cause us to compare ourselves and not
feel like we're, you know, living up
to a certain expectation.
And I definitely have felt that a lot.
You know, after coming off The Voice, I came home,
and I came off this high.
I was just on The Voice, like this huge deal, this big deal.
And I came home, and I still had another year of high school.
And I was like, OK, what's next?
And I was very, very fortunate and very blessed
because I received some really great opportunities.
And I started working with Deseret Book
shortly after getting off The Voice.
And they produced and released my first EP, my original EP,
and also my single "Irreplaceable" that I wrote.
So that was when I was able to release that,
that I was talking about earlier.
And I remember, Deseret Book, they put me
into a circuit called Time Out for Women and Time
Out for Girls.
And basically, at those events, I speak and sing.
And I remember, I had another one
of those moments where I was just
terrified going into it because I had never
done public speaking.
I mean, I'm a singer.
I never thought I would do anything like that.
But I remember, one of the first events that I did,
I had like an anxiety attack before--
Oh my gosh.
In my hotel room.
I mean, I was just terrified.
I was so nervous for it.
And it ended up going so much better than I made it up to be
in my mind.
Usually, that is the case.
Yeah, always.
But that's another example of a moment that
gave me confidence and taught me, oh, I can do that.
And ever since, I've done a lot of speaking events like that.
I've done all sorts of different kind of performances and shows.
And it's been incredible, the experience
I've been able to have, the people I've
been able to work with.
But it's definitely been a journey of, like,
rediscovering myself over and over again,
not just as an artist but as a person, discovering who am I
and who do I want other people to see, if that makes sense.
Recently, obviously not being able to perform
because of a pandemic and not being able to tour and do
those sorts of things, I know for a lot of people,
it's been a particular struggle.
How have you--how did you handle that?
It's been tough, you know?
I mean, the positive side--I'll start with that--is that I get
to focus more on the creation of my music and I get to take
a little bit more time to do that and take advantage
of the time that I would be performing and putting that
into being in the studio.
And I'm currently working on my next album
and my next original stuff, so I'm really excited about that.
So that's the positive side of it.
But definitely, it's tough missing out
on all those performance opportunities.
And as an artist, I'm my own boss, basically.
And so this is my job.
This is my main, only career.
And so performances are a really good source
of income and things like that.
So it's been tough, and it's been an adjustment, for sure.
You got the invitation to audition for The Voice,
and correct me if I'm wrong, you essentially
have to prepare a song and then go into it.
Or how does that work?
Basically, you have a period of time
where you can choose what song you
want to do within, you know, a list that they give you.
So it's a list of approved songs.
It's like a couple hundred maybe,
and you pick like five or six from it.
And then you send it to them, and then they pick it.
OK.
Actually, interesting story, the original song they
picked for me, it was a song by Ellie Goulding.
I can't remember exactly what it's called.
But, I mean, I remember looking at the lyrics of the song,
and I didn't feel super confident singing those lyrics,
just what they were singing about.
How come?
You didn't align?
It was a little bit adult, I guess, because I was only 16.
I took a risk, actually, because I
didn't want to be like a diva or anything like that,
but I emailed the producer, and I asked for a song switch.
And they ended up picking "Titanium," which is
the song that I ended up doing.
Wow, that's a pretty bold, courageous--you keep telling me
that you don't have courage, and all of these things seem like
it just screams courage.
I don't even know where the courage came from.
I mean, I do.
It comes from Heavenly Father.
He blessed me, for sure.
But I think back on it too, and I'm honestly
mind blown that I got through it.
Do you think you could sing a little bit of "Titanium"?
Sure.
You want to try it?
Sure.
You want to try it?
Yeah, I got to remember how "Titanium" goes.
That's the one about, "I am titanium," right?
Yeah.
How's it go?
Just putting you on the spot.
Obviously, we won't do the whole thing.
Where would you start?
And I'll follow you.
[HUMMING]
What key were you doing it at?
It was a little lower.
I feel like I do the original key, though, actually, I think.
I don't think I changed the key.
[MUSIC - "TITANIUM"]
[SINGING] But I can't hear a word you say.
I'm talking loud, not saying much.
I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet.
You shoot me down, but I get up.
You shoot me down--bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away,
fire away.
Ricochet, you take your aim, fire away, fire away.
You shoot me down, but I won't fall.
I am titanium.
You shoot me down, but I won't fall.
I am titanium.
[VOCALIZING]
Wow, that's great.
Never before and maybe never again,
between the two of you guys.
I know, right?
That was fun.
It's such a story of courage, and I
know we keep coming back to this, right?
But just to continue to do it, there's so much pressure on you
now.
You mentioned that you've been going to Nashville,
and writing songs, and putting together
an album in the time that you have, and all of these things.
It's easy to just quit.
Why don't you?
Good question.
Because there's lots easier jobs.
Yeah, I mean, there's definitely a lot
of challenges that come with being a singer and a performer
and also an entrepreneur too.
I don't quit because I love it, and I
don't quit because I feel like it's what I meant to do
and because I know there's a purpose behind everything
that I'm doing with music.
And it's for those reasons that I don't quit, even
on the hardest days.
So.
What's the purpose?
My purpose, for me, is to make people happier through my music
and to inspire them.
And I want to show that I can put out
catchy, relevant, current pop music
but that I can do that without sacrificing
any of my standards.
And I can do both.
I want to show that you can do both.
And I want people to feel good when they hear my music
and to be able to relate to it.
And that's what I'm doing with my new music,
actually, that I've been writing and I'm working on right now,
is it's going to be very, very real and raw, very real.
Because I just want to be real with my music.
Want to share some more, share some more music?
Let's do it.
Sure, yeah, let's do it.
You pick.
Let's do "Bleed."
So this song, I've written it about how all of us,
you know--we go through hard things.
Everybody goes through hard things in life and trials.
And sometimes, it can feel like we're so alone,
and nobody else understands what we're going through.
And so we keep quiet about our problems and about the things
that we're going through.
We keep it to ourselves, and we're, I guess,
bleeding on the inside.
And we'll mask it with a smile, and act like everything's fine.
And I mean, truly, some of the people
that I know personally that have had the hardest
trials are also some of the happiest, interesting enough.
And at first, at a first meeting with them,
you would never guess what they're going through
or what they have been through.
And so it's kind of--I wrote it about that concept.
That's kind of what inspired the song.
And it's OK for those that are afraid to get help and feel
like they might need it or want it, it's OK to reach out
and to ask for help because you don't have to do it alone.
[MUSIC - MADILYN PAIGE, "BLEED"]
(SINGING) Staring into the mirror, wishing I
could be anyone but me.
So obvious to me now, these demons that nobody else
can see.
I wonder if my friends know that I cry when they're at a party,
and I'm sitting at home.
I wonder if my friends know that I lie.
They think that I'm happy, but I'm drowning inside.
I don't want to be the one that's bleeding, bleeding out.
I can't even see nor hear nor speak.
I'm lost now.
I keep running from me, running from you,
from what I feel, tell myself it's not real.
Bleed, I'm bleed, I'm bleed, I'm bleeding out now.
[VOCALIZING]
What would happen to me?
Yeah.
What would happen if I left them in my walls?
If I told them I was bleeding, I wonder
if they'd even care at all.
I wonder if my friends know that I cry when they're at a party,
and I'm sitting at home.
I wonder if my friends know that I lie.
They think that I'm happy, when I'm drowning inside.
I don't want to be the one that's bleeding, bleeding out.
I can't even see nor hear nor speak.
I'm lost now.
I keep running from me, running from you, from what I feel.
I tell myself it's not real.
Bleed, I'm bleed, I'm bleed, I'm bleeding out.
I'm bleeding out.
[VOCALIZING]
I'm bleeding out.
[VOCALIZING]
Maybe it would help if somebody, somebody knows.
I'm trapped and trying to let go.
I don't want to be the one that's bleeding, bleeding out.
I can't even see nor hear nor speak, I'm lost now.
I keep running from me, running from you, from what I feel.
Bleed, I'm bleed, I'm bleed, I'm bleeding out.
[VOCALIZING]
I'm bleeding out.
It's pretty cool to know the story that you have
and then be able to hear so much of you come out in the things
that you sing.
Is that ever difficult?
Because if someone maybe doesn't like the song, in a way,
they're almost rejecting you, or how do you--how do you feel?
Yeah, it definitely is a vulnerable thing,
you know, to put music out there that's so personal,
and it's kind of scary in a way.
Because especially with my music I'm writing now,
it's the most me that my music has ever been.
And it's really vulnerable.
I mean, it's like you're letting thousands
or however many people are going to hear
the song into your heart, kind of, into a part of your heart.
So yeah, there's always that fear of rejection.
There's always that fear of what if they don't like it?
What if I get negative feedback?
Whatever.
But ultimately, I'm more excited when
I get to put out music that's super vulnerable, especially
with where I'm at in my life right now
because it's very healing for me.
It's very healing for me to put music out there
that I'm hoping will be able to help other people, you know?
I'm hoping I can talk you into one more before I let you go?
Yeah, totally.
Should we do it?
Yeah, so this song is very personal.
This is actually the first song that I wrote of all the songs
that are--actually no, "Body Image" was written first,
that's not true.
But this--I kind of went a few months last year without
writing anything.
How come?
I was going through a lot in my life--a lot personally
and in my family life.
My parents actually got divorced last year.
That's hard.
Yeah, really, really hard, and it was really unexpected.
I've had a totally normal parent situation and family
situation all growing up, and so it was it was out of the blue.
I never would've seen that coming and kind of shook
my whole world up.
And so I went a while without being able to write.
I just couldn't get myself to do it because I
was in such an emotional state.
I mean, usually, they say that's when you should write.
But I would try, and I just--I couldn't get--I was too
emotional to really think straight and to really think
how to put those emotions into a song.
So anyways, this is the first song
that started the snowball effect of all the other songs
that I've written since and kind of reopened that door
of songwriting for me.
So this is called "Enough," and I wrote this about
my parents' divorce and about--it's kind of like
telling a story.
It's written in an analogy about just the divorce
and the situation.
And it's a very emotional song, so yeah, it's very personal.
But I'm excited to share it.
[MUSIC - MADILYN PAIGE, "ENOUGH"]
[VOCALIZING]
Once upon a time in a kingdom far away,
there was a knight who lived happily.
And sitting by his side, she loved him endlessly.
Those times were good just as they should be.
But then the knight began to gaze his mind far away,
losing sight of what he had and why he should stay.
And though the kingdom loved him so and she gave him her heart,
he couldn't seem to let it go, the new life he'd start.
Why do you forget what we have right in front of us?
When you have the best it's not enough.
You want what you don't have when you have all
you'd ever want.
Tell me, did you find it enough?
Enough.
The princess, searching far and wide to break the spell,
couldn't change his mind in this fairy tale.
Soon enough she realized, although he's near,
looking deep into his eyes, he disappeared.
And on and on and on he chased his heart far away,
losing sight of what he had and why he should stay.
And though the kingdom loved him so,
and she gave him her heart, all along she wished to say,
"Can't we restart?"
Oh.
Why do you forget what we have right in front of us?
When you have the best it's not enough.
You want what you don't have when you have all
you'd ever want.
Tell me, did you find it enough?
Enough.
Once upon a time in a kingdom far away,
there was knight who lived happily.
And sitting by his side, she loved him endlessly.
Those times were good just as they should be.
Wow, that is a lot of weight, knowing
what that song comes from.
How were you able to sing that?
I don't know, honestly.
I mean, usually, when I sing it, I get pretty choked up.
So I kind of have to separate myself
from the emotion to a degree, just so I don't burst out
in tears every time I sing it.
But it's very--tugs on those heartstrings, for sure.
And such a great resource, to be able to have that heal--help
you heal through the process.
What sort of advice would you have
for someone who feels like they've
got that inner voice, that talent within,
but doesn't have the courage to let it be shown?
I would tell them not to let their fears win,
not to let their fears control them and their life.
Because I did for a while, and it's not a fun thing.
And it holds you back, and it keeps you
from being able to reach your potential.
And I would remind them that they have their talents,
and they have their voice.
And only they have their voice, and they have it for a reason.
And there's a reason and a purpose for how and why they
should share it.
And there's, you know--who knows what people they could touch
and help?
So I just want to kind of remind them of that.
How would you recommend that they even start?
Doing something to go out of your comfort zone, I would say.
I've never believed that I'm a good dancer.
It's always kind of just been like this fear of mine,
you know, that I can't dance.
I can't dance, and that's what I've always told myself.
And I just recently had to learn a dance for a music video.
Very outside of my comfort zone, very outside
of my comfort zone.
But I did it.
And I--in the moment, I switched those negative thoughts
to positive.
And I told myself, I can do it.
I can do it.
And I'm a strong believer that everything is very mental,
and if you tell yourself that you can do something,
that you can.
So it turned out to be a way more fun experience
than I thought, and I wasn't as bad as I thought I was.
So I would just tell them to do something out
of their comfort zone and to tell themselves
that they can do it.
Because if you're saying that you can't, you're
just living in that negative space, you know?
So I've thought, as we've been chatting,
there's no way that I could sing with you.
But hearing what you just said, I'm thinking maybe
we could give it a shot?
Let's do it.
Yeah!
I'd love that.
We'll have Jack help us on the guitar.
Let's do "I Am a Child of God."
You know that one?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
[MUSIC - "I AM A CHILD OF GOD"]
I am a child of God, and He has sent me here,
has given me an earthly home, with parents kind and dear.
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday.
We did it.
That was fun.
A huge shout out to Jack Mergist here, playing the guitar
and backing us up.
And thank you so much.
Thank you, you're amazing.
My pleasure.
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