Welcome to the Sister to Sister conversation
as part of BYU's Women's Conference.
I'm Tracy Browning of the Relief Society General Board
and I'll be your moderator for today's discussion.
I'm coming to you from my makeshift home
studio in my basement, albeit a little less casually dressed
than I have been for several weeks.
Today I'll be asking questions to our panelists
that women have submitted over the last few months.
I am so excited to introduce our first panelist, Sister Reyna
Aburto, Second Counselor in the Relief Society General
Presidency, who is in an isolated studio in Provo, Utah.
Let me introduce you to our next panelist, Sister Rebecca
Craven, Second Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency,
who is joining us from her home in Utah.
And finally, Sister Lisa Harkness, First Counselor
in the Primary General Presidency, who's also joining
us from her home in Utah.
Sister Aburto, Sister Craven, Sister Harkness, and I
welcome you to this unique Sister to Sister event,
held completely online.
We wish we could meet with you in person at the Marriott
Center on the Brigham Young University campus,
but instead we're sending you virtual hugs and lots of love.
We're grateful to you, sisters, for joining
us to view this conversation, and to our sisters
participating in today's discussion,
we so look forward to what you're going to teach us today.
I want to start with this question
because we're all in a similar situation.
Most of us are sheltering in place
at home, and with that comes some unique challenges
and opportunities.
For me, I'm never really quite sure what day of the week
it is.
Sisters, let me ask you, what have you
been doing since you've been spending more time at home?
Sister Craven?
Well actually, not a lot has changed
in really any of our schedules.
We're just doing things from home, like we're doing today.
We sure hope that even though we aren't physically together
with you, that you can feel how much we love you.
But one thing that I enjoy is growing potted lemon trees.
So one of the fun things about being at home at this time
is that I've been able to spend more time tending my trees
and watching my lemons grow.
But the other thing that I've been watching grow is my hair.
So, so far I have missed two hair appointments,
and I think probably if you look carefully,
you can even see my sparkles growing out too.
I think we can all relate to missing our hair
dressers during this time.
Sister Harkness, what have you been doing with your time?
Well, I've been doing a lot more cooking than I usually do.
I love, love food.
And I've rediscovered snacking in a whole new way
during this time at home.
Just recently, I saw a funny meme
that I can really relate to.
It said something about that now it's
suggested that we all wear masks in our homes,
not to prevent us from catching a virus,
but to prevent us from excessive snacking.
Well, I think it's time for me to find
a really good mask to prevent me from excessive home snacking.
Really wise counsel, thank you.
Sister Aburto, how about you?
Well, what I have noticed lately is that my family and me,
we are spending so much time with our dog
now that she's getting so spoiled.
So I'm thinking about setting some social distancing
guidelines with her, because this is going too far.
But on a more serious note, I'm really
impressed and amazed to see how the Lord's work continues
on the earth, and how each of us can still participate on it.
I want to tell everyone who's listening to us today
that we are here as four members of Relief Society
having a conversation.
Our intent is not to address all the questions we have received.
We don't pretend to have all the answers either.
Like all of you, we also have our struggles,
our longings, our wounds.
We are all in need of peace, solace,
and healing from our Savior.
So some questions are probably too
personal and specific to answer in a setting like this,
but please be assured that we have read all of them,
and that we will continue to read them,
and we will have them in our heart
as we continue serving in our calling
and in the councils of the Church where we participate.
Our prayer as we have this conversation
is that we can all get closer to our Heavenly Father
and also get closer to our Savior so we can hear Him,
so we can hear His voice, so we can also
get closer to each other as Latter-day Saints,
as women in Zion, as covenant women, as women of faith,
so we can work together in gathering Israel
and in preparing the earth for the Second Coming.
I would like to ask each of you to please listen
to the promptings you will get and take
note of what the Spirit will tell you, specifically
as we counsel together.
Please listen to the principles, listen
to the doctrine, as we gather all safely in Christ today,
and as we gather together in one all things
in Christ, our Savior and Redeemer.
Thank you for that inspired counsel, Sister Aburto.
So Sisters, to kick off our discussion,
a topic that we heard a lot from our sisters
was around emotional health.
Many of us, as you're aware, are struggling
in our current situation because our healthy social
and emotional connections are less available to us right now.
This can be compounded by the fact that some of us
may already struggle with feelings of sadness,
hopelessness, and despair.
What would you say to those of us
who face depression, anxiety, or who
struggle with those feelings?
Sister Harkness.
Well, these are really very real concerns.
And whether we struggle ourselves or know someone close
to us that does, what we are learning
is that this is a shared experience for so many.
But isn't it wonderful that we are living in a day
when we can talk more openly about our feelings
so we can help bear one another's burdens
without judgment or confusion?
Right here now I'm thinking about Alma's teaching
to his people, and I think it applies
so well to these concerns.
He taught that Christ would go forth,
suffering pains, afflictions, temptations,
and infirmities of every kind.
This helps us know our Heavenly Father is keenly
aware of every difficulty we experience,
including these emotional struggles and afflictions.
Sisters, we can have faith that there will be healing.
There is hope for us all, because Christ has condescended
below all things, so He may know how to succor us, His people,
in every kind of infirmity.
Now, while our emotional struggles
may make our mortal experience very, very difficult at times,
our struggles do not define our potential as children of God.
When we return to His presence, we
will be whole, fully capable, and
free from our present mortal afflictions.
Thank you, Sister Harkness.
Sister Aburto, what would you say
to a loved one who may struggle with these feelings?
Well, I think that the first important thing
that we need to do is to acknowledge
that there is a challenge that needs to be addressed
and to try to do whatever we can to address it.
I feel that whatever our situation is,
we should not try to cope with it alone.
Let us ask for help from Heavenly Father and the people
around us.
You know, when my daughter suffered from depression
and anxiety in her late teen years, it was hard for me
because I didn't know how to help her.
But then I remember offering a prayer one night,
and then the next morning I woke up with this thought
in my head, that I really didn't know much about
emotional ailments.
And I said, OK, I need to learn more.
So I started researching, and I felt
that I was able to support her better because of that.
So I feel that we all need to increase our knowledge
and our understanding about these emotional ailments,
especially now when the effects of the pandemic
will probably last for a while.
You know, the Church has provided articles, videos,
and other resources, so we should probably
study them and ponder them.
And also read the end notes used as sources.
And of course, we need to also turn to the scriptures
and to the words of our living prophets,
because we will find guidance in them.
Now, I know that there were some questions
about suicide of loved ones.
And regarding that, I would like to say
that I know that it's very difficult to cope with that.
I myself still don't understand my father's suicide.
It's something very hard to grasp.
But there are some things that I know.
And I know that my father, my family, and me
can receive the healing that the Savior offers
through His Atonement.
And I know that one day I will see my father again
on the other side of the veil, and I'll
be able to give him a hug and tell him how much I love him.
I know that at that time, because of the resurrection
with Christ, our bodies and our souls will be restored,
and we will have the opportunity to live in a state of happiness
that has no end.
So if you feel that you cannot take one more step,
please ask for help.
My plea to you is don't give up.
There is hope.
There is healing.
There is joy.
There is love surrounding you.
Please turn to the Lord's redeeming grace
and turn to the people around you.
Don't give up.
Please don't give up.
Thank you, Sister Aburto, for that powerful answer.
Sister Craven, what thoughts would you
share with someone who may be struggling?
Well, I've been aware of emotional illnesses nearly
my entire life, and I know that not all of these illnesses
are permanent; some of them can be temporary
just based on the circumstances we might be in.
But I do know that all of them need to be taken seriously.
Something I've learned is that anybody struggling
with emotional difficulties needs somebody in their life
that they can trust, and I hope that we can be that person.
I hope we can be observant, and I
hope we can be understanding and not judgmental.
And I hope that we can be a trusted friend.
I have loved ones who have daily struggles
combating suicidal thoughts, and one dear
loved one who even took their life.
So I understand the fear and the anxiety
and the reality of losing someone we love.
And I know what it's like to have
to call for emergency help.
I also hope that we can follow the promptings of the Spirit,
because we just don't know if showing up at someone's door
or making a phone call or just sending a note
might make all the difference in their life.
I know that the Lord is aware of each of us,
and He wants us to be happy and healthy.
He wants us to find joy in life, because He
said that we are that we might have joy,
and I believe that He really does want that for us.
And if we turn to Him, He will help
us know where to find the help that we need,
whether that's for our self or for somebody else that
is in need of our help.
I love that.
I love it.
Thank you, Sister Craven, and thank you to all the sisters
who provided such powerful inspired answers
to this question.
Sisters, mothers would love to hear
a bit about your own personal experience
being a young mother.
What was life like for you when you were
raising your young children?
Can you remember what your daily schedule was like?
Sister Harkness.
Well, that's a really fun question.
I do remember a bit.
Our five children were born very close together.
And between their feeding schedules, colds, and upset
tummies, and then the mounds of work for me to do,
meals to cook, and of course regular housework, sometimes
I couldn't tell you what day of the week it was,
let alone if there was a schedule or not.
Until it was Sunday.
Then I remember patting myself on the back in my efforts
to get everyone cleaned up, dressed up,
and then sitting down in church, usually on time.
To tell you the truth, that was sometimes my biggest scheduled
accomplishment during the week.
And I was OK with it.
I knew that children grow up and someday my schedule
and theirs would look differently.
Sisters, the work of motherhood is a ministry
of love and sacrifice.
And it's done by all women, regardless if we
have borne children or not.
Women mother as we discern and meet the needs of others.
It is a partnership with God.
You know, I thought I understood motherhood
pretty well until I watched my own daughters bring children
into their families.
Now I see motherhood in a brighter light.
It is more noble, more divine, and a whole lot busier
than I remembered.
The mothers of today really are real heroines.
They are battling to keep the influences of the world out
of their homes, and at the same time
they are fiercely devoted to making their homes centers
of faith and gospel learning.
Now, in the middle of all this, sometimes the intense demands
of motherhood could cause us to feel trapped,
without a chance to use or develop
our talents and interests.
But recently, Sister Jones taught us about hats.
Do you remember in the last general conference
when she said that women wear many hats,
but that it is impossible and unnecessary that we wear them
all at once?
I just love this analogy, because while it
may be tempting to feel discouraged
in the middle of the wonderful, crazy normalness of raising
children, our consistent efforts to teach eternal truths
are worth every effort, every sacrifice, and all
our commitment.
Thank you so much.
Sister Craven, as young mothers are
doing the good work of building the centers of faith
that Sister Harkness discussed, what did you
do to keep from burning out?
How did you make time to care for yourself?
I think this whole conversation is just so relevant today,
because I remember when each of our daughters
were expecting their first babies.
At some point, each of them came to me pretty much
in tears saying, "Mom, I am so tired."
And my response to them each time, I'm afraid,
was not very comforting, because I
think I said something like, "I know, and I'm sorry,
but it's never going to go away."
But life in general can be exhausting for all of us,
and it's really easy for anybody to get discouraged.
Satan is particularly good at discouraging young mothers,
I think.
I remember being very discouraged
at certain times myself.
My thoughts on the topic is really
a question about what we might be
able to do to help young mothers.
One of our daughters lives away from us in another state,
and so I'm not able to help her with her children
like I wish I could.
But there is a sister in our daughter's ward
who watches her three little kiddos for a couple hours
every week, just to give her a break.
I absolutely love this sister.
I asked our daughter once what she did during her alone time,
and she told me that sometimes she goes to the temple.
Sometimes she goes grocery shopping.
But a lot of times she just stays home and takes a nap.
It's OK for us to be away from our children for a while,
and I think it's good for them too.
And if possible, I think that we can plan it in our budget
to hire a babysitter occasionally, or like I did,
I traded babysitting with a friend every week
for just a few hours.
And I can't tell you how good it was for my psyche.
And it was also fun for our children,
because they had a regular play date every week.
It's important to take time for ourselves, sisters.
And that applies to all of us, not just
those who have young children.
Here is a truth that I absolutely know, that all of us
as women by our divine nature, we mother.
It's just part of our eternal DNA.
And so with those divine motherly instincts,
wouldn't it be wonderful for each of us to consider ways
that we might be able to help support our fellow Relief
Society sisters who have small children?
Thank you, Sister Craven.
Sister Aburto, what would you say to young mothers?
Well, besides what has been said, that I think
it's just wonderful advice.
I feel that sometimes we are just maybe
too hard on ourselves.
And two things come to my mind as we are talking about this.
One of them is the consecration covenant
that we make in the temple.
I feel that probably we need to understand that better,
and I think that I am still trying to understand
what it really means.
But I feel that sometimes we think
that it has to do only with callings
or the time we spend at church.
Or sometimes we think that it's something from the past
or it's going to be in the future.
But I feel that it has to do really
with consecrating our life and what we are spending time on.
So I feel that if we are helping our family,
if we are embarked in school to prepare for the future,
if we are caring for a sick family member,
for example, or maybe we are working hard
to provide for ourselves and our family,
or if we are constantly looking for ways to minister to others
and bringing them to Christ, or if we are constantly
seeking the Lord's will for us, maybe then we
are living the law of consecration,
and we probably just need to be more intentional.
I feel that one of the most important things
is what we are becoming and what we are helping others
to become.
So each morning we can offer our day to God,
ask Him to help us, then have a constant prayer in our heart
so the Spirit can guide us.
And then each night we can ask Him to accept our offer.
The second thing that comes to my mind
also is that we need to look back and see the hand
of the Lord in our lives.
I feel that when we hear older people's stories
or we read stories in the scriptures,
they are relating their stories in retrospective.
Even though it may take us just one minute to read a chapter,
a single chapter may have covered months or years.
And a lot of the details and the daily routines
are not spelled out.
So let us take the time to look back
and see the great things that we are achieving.
Let us also picture the future and enjoy each moment.
So let's not be so hard on ourselves.
We are not as bad as we think.
But of course, we can always do better, a little bit better.
And one more thing is that we don't
have to do it all at once, just a little bit at a time,
one day at a time, and one small step at a time.
You know, Sister Browning and I were talking
about this just a few days ago.
And she said something really profound.
Can you please share it with us, Sister Browning, please?
Sure.
Thank you, Sister Aburto, for the invitation
to share a thought.
This is a meaningful question to me,
because I can so relate to our sisters
seeking counsel on this topic, because I too
have been pondering and prayerfully
seeking guidance to understand what opportunities there
are for me to improve my mothering to my young children.
I still have a young son at home,
and I have a tendency to spend a lot of time navigating
the temporal and temporary aspects of the work
that I do in my home as a mother.
The battles with the laundry and the schoolwork
and the activities, the illnesses, the mealtimes,
and what feels like a daily rinse and repeat cycle.
But in all that good and important work
addressing those temporal, and again, temporary needs,
because some of these tasks will change
with the passage of time, there is
a knowledge that has been planted deep
within my heart that seeks to remind me that motherhood is
not just a condition of mortality
or a biological function measured only
by this present season along a very long timeline of eternity.
The eternal and exalted title of mother,
the call to be the mother of all living,
was presented to women before our mortal experience
and will continue with us after this state.
I love this quote from President Monson.
He says, "May each of us treasure this truth.
One cannot forget mother and remember God.
One cannot remember mother and forget God.
Why?
Because these two sacred persons, God and mother,
partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service,
are as one."
Can you imagine what learnings about that partnership
and our divine role of mother still await us?
I know that each of us will be champions
of this season of motherhood.
And we will be prepared for the many glorious seasons ahead.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
I love it.
Thank you.
Beautiful.
Thank you, sisters.
Our next topic is on comparison and judgment.
Some of us inevitably see or hear
things that make us feel really bad about ourselves
and we begin to compare our life and efforts to others,
often leading to thoughts that we're simply
not good enough or talented enough, spiritual enough,
and so on.
How can we resist the urge to compare ourselves to others?
Sister Aburto, what would you share with us?
Again, I will say that I feel that we are just too hard
on ourselves and on others.
We need to realize that we are all imperfect people
in the road to perfection, through the redeeming grace
of Jesus Christ.
But for some reason we have the tendency
to label ourselves or others.
And I know that we need ways to describe ourselves
and our experiences in life, but we should not allow
our experiences to define us.
They can refine us, but they should not define us or others.
So my advice is to try to avoid labeling.
We have so much in common.
We all have a divine nature, and each of us is a child of God.
Each of us is a child of heavenly parents.
And we are all sisters and brothers,
and we are all disciples of Christ,
and we are all trying to become like Him,
and we are making our best effort,
and we need to believe that.
And even though there is an ideal we are all
trying to achieve, we are all on our way there together,
and we are not there yet.
Something else is that I feel that there is not really
a mold in the Church or a cookie cutter
in which we feel that we all have to fit.
Because each of us is different.
And if we think that there is a mold, then
maybe it means that we don't really
know the people around us.
Some of us choose not to tell our whole story
because it may be too painful.
But I know, because it has happened to me many times,
that when we take the time to hear other people's stories,
when we take the time to get to know them,
we realize that we all have struggles,
that we are all healing from something.
And so maybe that's the reason why we should treat everyone
like if they are carrying a heavy burden,
because there is a big chance that it is the truth.
Even the ones who seem well put together or who
seem to have a perfect life.
And I know that if we do this, our perspective will change,
because we are all trying, and we all
have something to contribute as well through formal callings
or through the Spirit.
And then church, church is really
a place to gather together, to strengthen each other,
to make and renew our covenants, and to gather together
in one all things in Christ.
So we can then go on our daily life
and participate in the work of salvation and exaltation,
with that knowledge and with that power,
in our organized way as members of Relief
Societies, priesthood quorums and classes,
and in individual ways in our personal lives.
So we have work to do.
So let's lock our arms and do it together.
So any of you would like to say something else about this?
I would, Sister Aburto.
Thank you for that counsel there.
And that makes me think of something that Sister Jean
Bingham recently taught us about how Satan incites comparison
as a tool to create feelings of being superior or inferior
to each other.
I think that is such a great observation.
We can certainly see this happening in our day,
don't you think?
So often when we compare ourselves with others,
we focus on what they have, and then we
desire their blessings, their talents, and their experiences.
When we do this, we're taking our eyes off the Savior
and instead looking sideways to the mortals in our lives.
Sisters, I think if we're not very careful here,
we might completely overlook our divine, unique gifts,
just like Sister Aburto was teaching us.
Think about it for a minute.
If Satan can keep us distracted, thinking about somebody else's
talents, somebody else's gifts, or somebody else's skills,
then we are not engaged in the work
our Heavenly Father has sent us here to do,
using the tools and gifts He expects us to use.
Now, when we feel tempted to compare ourselves and we will,
we can choose instead to express gratitude for even the smallest
blessing in our lives.
I have found this works for me.
When I choose to be grateful, I can
make connections between the gifts Heavenly Father has
given me and the work He has asked me to do.
It helps me to avoid comparison.
Now, we all know that Heavenly Father
is very generous in giving.
But are we equally generous in receiving and using
what He has given us?
Sisters, through personal revelation,
the Holy Ghost will help us come to understand
more about our divine nature and gifts, those
that we have been given to accomplish
our mission on earth.
Thank you, sisters, for that inspired instruction.
Sister Craven, we'd love your counsel on this next topic.
We know that family relationships are important.
But we do recognize that sometimes they
can be a real struggle and cause pain that we
may feel by our family members.
How can we let go of the pain of difficult relationships
and be at peace?
Relationships, whether they're with our family
or if they're with friends, are meant
to be supporting and loving, and I think
they should be fun as well.
But sometimes we find ourselves in a hurtful situation,
and we find it very difficult to let go of that hurt and anger.
So this question really resonated with me,
because there was a time that I was in a similar situation.
And because of the circumstances,
I found myself very hurt and betrayed.
And I was extremely angry.
And for years I had let those feelings fester
within my heart, and I became dependent
on somebody else's actions to determine my mood, my thoughts,
and I'm really sorry to say, even what I talked about.
It was not good for my emotional or for my physical health,
and it took me a really, really long time to get over it.
And I say that because my heart was so hard
that it did take a long time.
I eventually realized that I had created a trap for myself.
And I started to pray really hard to know what to do.
And then I had a personal revelation.
And it was as if a voice had entered into my mind,
and I heard the words of the Lord
which we read in Mormon chapter 8 that says that "Man shall not
smite, neither shall he judge; for judgment is mine,
saith the Lord."
And then I realized that I cannot be the judge of anyone,
that the only thing that I have to choose and to judge are
my own thoughts and my own actions.
And I recognized that I was carrying a burden that the Lord
had already carried.
And I can't adequately describe how I felt at that moment,
but I felt lighter.
And for the first time in a really long time, I felt free.
I felt free from the bondage of such intense anger.
Now, that doesn't mean that we have to be
best buddies with everyone.
But we do need to be kind.
And we need to refrain from speaking ill of anybody,
because that just fosters contention in our hearts,
and we know that contention comes from Satan,
and that even includes using sarcastic remarks,
because they can be very damaging
and hurt feelings as well.
The Savior, I know, will bear our burdens if we allow Him to.
We can let go of hurt feelings and anger
when we allow the Savior's Atonement to work in our lives.
But I also like to just mention briefly
the importance about communication,
because we're a Church of councils.
You may have heard it said that revelation
is sprinkled among us.
And I believe that.
But we have to remember that counseling is more than just
talking, that it requires us to listen with our ears
and with our hearts.
My husband often says that "reasonable people working
together can come up with reasonable solutions."
And I love this familiar scripture
that we find in Matthew that says, "For [when]
two or three are gathered together in my name,
there am I in the midst of them."
And to me, the most important part of that scripture
are the words "in my name."
Because when we counsel together and invite the Lord
into our conversations and seek personal revelation,
there are so many questions and concerns that can be resolved.
I love that.
Thank you for that wise counsel, Sister Craven.
Sisters, as we know, we're unable to predict the future.
Wouldn't that be something if we could?
Unforeseen circumstances absolutely
will happen during our lives.
How might we build spiritual and emotional resilience
that can prepare us for unexpected personal
difficulties in the future?
And I'd love to hear from everyone on this question.
Sister Harkness, let's start with you.
Well, that's a great question.
You know, you're right.
Even though we can't see into the future,
there are no surprises to God.
He knows the end from the beginning.
And we can be assured He is always several steps ahead
of our present circumstances.
Now, we know that He prepared a way for our growth
before we were born on earth.
So it should be no surprise to us
that He continues to prepare us for unforeseen events
and experiences that are yet to come.
As you look back in your life, can you
see examples of how God was preparing you
for the very trials you are experiencing right now?
They are there.
And the Spirit will help us understand Heavenly Father's
efforts to prepare and strengthen us.
You know, sometimes when we are in the middle
of a difficult trial, time seems to slow down
and every bump in the road of our journey
can feel more pronounced, more painful, and perhaps even more
unfair.
Disciples of Christ have never been spared difficulties,
hardships, or tragic accidents.
But we do have the reassurance that we are never alone.
Just as God prepares us to meet our challenges,
He stands close by, helping us endure them.
And one way He does it is through personal revelation.
President Russell M. Nelson recently told us that "when
[we're] surrounded by uncertainty and fear,"
you know, kind of like right now in our situations,
"[our Heavenly Father knows that] what will help us . . .
most is to hear His Son."
Sisters, we can feel prepared for the future
by heeding President Nelson's plea for us
to develop or increase our ability
to receive personal revelation.
Hearing His Son is Heavenly Father's way
of helping us prepare for the future
and endure the present in faith.
That's great.
Thank you, Sister Harkness.
Sister Craven, what will you share with us?
Oh, well this pandemic has certainly
caused the unforeseen return home
of more than 30,000 missionaries,
and I know that this has been difficult
for many missionaries and their families.
My husband was a mission president.
And I can tell you from our experience
that this is also a very difficult time
for mission presidents and their companions.
But while we were serving our mission,
missionaries returned home early for a variety of reasons,
sometimes well beyond their control,
such as physical and emotional illnesses.
But before those missionaries returned home,
my husband always shared with them
this scripture that is found in Doctrine and Covenants section
124.
And I'd like to read it.
It says, "Verily, verily, I say unto you,
that when I give a commandment to any
of the sons [or daughters] of men to do a work unto my name,
and those sons of men go with all their might
and with all they have to perform that work,
and cease not their diligence, and their enemies come
upon them and hinder them from performing that work, behold,
it behooveth me to require that work no more
at the hands of those sons of men,
but to accept of their offerings."
Now, the enemy could be many things.
It could be an illness or even a pandemic.
But for any who have returned home
from a mission early and worthy, or in the spirit of repentance,
we should refrain from judging.
And those missionaries should not put an asterisk
by the side of their mission.
We hope that they can each declare
confidently when and where they served, without adding
any type of a qualifier.
As the scripture I just shared tells us,
the Lord will accept of their offering.
What relevant counsel.
Thank you, Sister Craven.
Sister Aburto.
Well, I'm so grateful for the counsel that has been given.
And I know that we are living also
through really peculiar times right now.
But I feel that this is a time to reflect on and cherish
the blessings we have received from God.
I feel that this is the time to get to know ourselves better
and to get to know the people around us.
This is the time really to minister to others
according to our circumstances.
And we are seeing this around the world,
as people are just helping each other in different ways.
It's so wonderful to see people helping
their friends, their neighbors, and even others
that they don't know personally.
So I feel that this is a time to see the miracles around us
and to take the time to hear the Lord, to hear His voice,
to trust and believe in God's plan of happiness.
And I think that, like we are reading
this week in the Book of Mormon, this
is a time to lift up our heads and rejoice,
and put our trust in God.
Thank you, sisters.
Sisters, here's another topic that is of significant interest
to a lot of our sisters that wrote in.
We have been blessed by many messages
from the brethren and the sisters
teaching us about the priesthood of God.
And we know that the power of keeping priesthood covenants
blesses both men and women.
Sister Aburto, how can we be more
prepared to call upon the power of God in our lives?
Well, first of all, I would like to read something
that President Nelson told us women last October.
And he said, "Those who are endowed
in the house of the Lord receive a gift
of God's priesthood power by virtue of their covenant,
along with a gift of knowledge to know
how to draw upon that power."
I feel that we just need to open our eyes and ears so we
can hear what the Lord is trying to teach each of us,
so we can hear Him, and really understand
what this means for each of us.
And I also feel that all that we are learning about God's power
is not new doctrine.
Some of the basic principles are that all of God's children
are invited to make covenants with God.
And that when we keep the commitments we have made,
God blesses us according to the terms of the covenant.
And His power and blessings flow into our lives.
We are endowed with priesthood power to do the work of God
on the earth through our covenants
and our righteousness.
And the more we act on it, the more we will receive it.
The truth is that we have already
been drawing upon God's power without knowing it,
but maybe we just need to be more intentional
in our personal life and in our callings as we hear
and follow the voice of the Savior.
I want to tell you something that
happened to me in Johannesburg, South Africa, a few years ago.
I was there on an assignment.
And on a Sunday evening, we were going
to have a devotional with young adults.
And that was a busy day.
And I remember that that morning, I
had some impressions, and I kind of wrote down
some kind of outline of the things
that I wanted to share with those young adults
that evening.
And I thought I was ready.
But then just a few minutes before that devotional started,
just a few minutes before, I had this feeling that probably I
needed to make a change, that I didn't
need to just give them a message,
that we needed to counsel together.
And it was a little bit scary because I was like, really?
Is that what I need to do?
So I followed the prompting.
And I just gave them a short message of about five minutes.
And then I asked them, what are your concerns?
What is in your heart?
What keeps you awake at night?
And it was amazing to see all those young adults coming up
with things that mostly had to do with their friends.
And that was really, really something
that impressed me a lot, because many of them
were worried about their friends who suffered from anxiety
and depression, or their friends who were not coming to church,
or their friends who were not members.
And they were also worried about education
and how to help each other find the best options.
So what we did is that they divided in small groups,
and each group started counseling together
about each of those issues.
Just for a few minutes.
And then when we reconvened again,
it was so amazing to feel God's Spirit that came to that room.
As they were sharing the things that they
had felt in their heart as they counseled together
that they could do for their friends,
the amount of energy and faith and power
that was present in that room was just amazing.
After we ended the meeting, we had
to stay in the building for a little while,
because some leaders needed to have a meeting.
And then when we left the building,
40 minutes after the devotional had ended,
there were so many of those young adults
still there counseling together on finding ways
to bless their friends.
They were really talking about ministering to each other.
So that evening, what I learned was
that when we are humble enough, when we follow the Spirit,
we are empowered, and we can use that power
to bless the lives of our brothers and sisters around us.
And that's what those young adults were doing.
They were finding ways to help, and they
had decided to go and do the things that they
had been inspired to do.
So for me, that is a great example of what feeling
that power is.
And that's what I learned that evening.
Thank you, Sister Aburto.
Sister Harkness, Sister Aburto discussed being
endowed with priesthood power.
What does it mean that women have been endowed
with God's priesthood power?
Well, that's a great question.
And it's certainly one that so many women have.
But first, when we talk about priesthood power,
we must be careful to never compare it to the model
that the world assumes about how a person gets, maintains,
or loses power.
In the world as we know, power is often
an all or nothing possession.
There is never enough of it to go around it seems,
and it's often used to control others.
It's usually also maintained only by force.
In contrast, though, God's priesthood power
is distributed very differently.
It is given, bestowed, conferred,
and shared based on conditions of worthiness.
It operates on the principles of righteousness.
The use of God's power elevates and transforms
our characters to become more like the giver who is God.
Our understanding of God's power is distilled upon us
as we keep covenants made through priesthood ordinances.
Now, when God covenanted with Abraham,
He promised that through his posterity,
all the families of the earth would
be blessed with the blessings of the gospel, which
are the blessings of salvation, even life eternal.
As we now enter into any sacred covenant,
from baptism through sealing covenants in temples,
we do so by God's priesthood authority,
which allows our covenants to be binding on earth and in heaven.
Then, as Sister Aburto was talking about,
as we faithfully keep these priesthood covenants,
God bestows upon us His promised power
and blessings, including the highest blessings of salvation
and exaltation.
Sisters, what could we learn if we
ask ourselves questions like, what are the blessings that I
receive from each covenant I have made with God?
And what am I empowered to do because of the covenants
I have made with God?
And also, how can I then share these covenant blessings
with others?
Let's think about this for just a minute.
The meaning of the word endowment
refers to a gift that is given to bless those in need.
As we consider how the powerful blessings we receive
from keeping our covenants meet our dearest needs,
we can better understand God's divine power
and its exalting purpose.
Thank you, Sister Harkness.
Thank you so much for those inspired questions
that we should consider.
Sister Craven, how is having a better understanding of how
we can receive God power in our lives a game changer for women?
Well, I was thinking that last October
during the women's session in general conference,
that President Nelson asked each of us
to study the priesthood so that we could understand it better.
This is what he said.
"You might begin with Doctrine and Covenants sections
84 and 107.
Those sections will lead you to other passages. . . .
As your understanding increases and as you exercise faith
in the Lord and His priesthood power,
your ability to draw upon this spiritual treasure
that the Lord has made available will increase."
So I did what the Prophet asked us to do,
and I have to tell you that my understanding has increased,
and I'm really grateful for the things that I've learned.
It wasn't until I was an adult that I started to understand
the oath and the covenant of the priesthood, which is found
in the 84th section of the Doctrine and Covenants,
one of the sections the Prophet asked us to study.
I really never paid much attention to it,
because I thought it really only applied
to my dad and my brothers.
But as I matured in the gospel, I
began to realize that it actually
had everything to do with me.
So I now understand a little bit better
that as we keep the priesthood covenants
that we make in the temple, that the Lord blesses us
with an oath that He will bestow upon us
some wonderful blessings.
What we covenant to do is to receive the priesthood
or the power of God into our lives, which
includes making and keeping sacred priesthood ordinances
and covenants.
But now, listen to what the Lord promises us.
And He promises us with an oath which He cannot break.
We will be sanctified by the Spirit.
We will be numbered among the elect of God.
And all that the Lord has will be given to us.
So back to the question, what do we do with this knowledge?
Sisters, we do the same thing that we've
been doing all along.
But I believe that we can do it with greater confidence,
that we have power to do the things that we've
been called upon to do.
I believe it gives us energy.
And I think that it gives us a greater understanding
of the importance of our callings
and the responsibilities that we have in the work of salvation
and exaltation.
Thank you, Sister Craven.
Well sisters, we have about 10 minutes left in our discussion,
and I wanted to take some time to ask a question that we heard
from quite a few of our sisters so that we can
get a bit of a response here.
It's regarding Church callings.
What would you say to women who may feel discouraged
or who feel like they're capable and are willing to serve,
but don't feel like they're needed?
Sister Harkness, can you provide us
some instruction on this topic?
Sure.
Great question.
You know, so often when we talk about the work of the Lord,
we talk in terms of our present callings.
And we say things like, I'm the Relief Society president,
or I'm a Sunday School teacher, a family history consultant.
And sometimes we say, I'm just a Primary teacher.
With very few exceptions, every calling in the Church
is temporary.
We will have many over the course of a lifetime.
And there may even be stretches of time
when we don't have a designated calling.
The Lord has said, if we have desires to serve Him,
we are called to the work.
You and I express our desire to serve God when we make and keep
sacred priesthood covenants.
These covenants bless and empower us
to do the Lord's work, just like we mentioned
a few minutes ago when we were talking about the priesthood.
What a wonderful thing it is to be called to the Lord's work
as we keep our covenants.
President Nelson reminded us what this work looks like.
Do you remember when he said, "[The gathering of Israel is]
the greatest challenge, cause, and work on the earth"?
And he also reminded us as women that we are all
invited and desperately needed in the work.
When we focus on the work and not the title
of our temporary calling, we will
see there is enough work for us to do.
It is all around us.
And we can participate no matter our circumstances,
marital status, age, or experience
in Church leadership.
Remember that anytime we do anything
that helps another person take a step along the covenant path,
we are helping to gather scattered Israel,
and this is the work that we all have in common as covenant
disciples of Jesus Christ.
Every calling in the Church is involved in this same work.
Some may do it in a family history library
or at their home computer.
Some do it in Primary singing time, and some play the piano.
Some help youth learn how to lead.
And many, many sisters minister like angels.
As we engage in this work that we've
been called to do as disciples of Christ,
we can be sure that it will require our best
effort, our courage, our time, skill, energy, and creativity.
But sisters, we will be blessed for every effort
we make in the work of the Lord, because everything we do
is for Him.
Thank you for that important counsel, Sister Harkness.
Sister Aburto, we've received numerous questions
about ministering.
What do we need to know?
How can you help us with this topic?
I would just like to say a few things.
I know that much has been said about ministering,
but I feel that ministering is putting into practice the two
great commandments, which are to love God
with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength,
and to love others like the Lord loves us.
So if we love God, if we truly love God,
we will naturally feel love for others.
So let's look for revelation on how
to minister to other people.
Let's get to know the person, and asking them
how they would like to be ministered to
is one of the best ways to know.
Also praying by name is very powerful.
We can ask in sincere prayer, what can I do for this person
so she or he can get closer to the Savior?
And many times our presence may be the most important thing
that we can offer.
I love what Brother Petelo said in this last conference when he
said, "We cannot sit idly and expect the Lord to use us
in His great work.
We must not wait for those who need our aid to seek us out."
So let's just keep finding that revelation
and following the revelation that we feel,
and that we receive on how to minister to others.
I know that this is God's work, and that He will help us.
I know that He will.
Thank you, Sister Aburto.
As we wrap up here with our last few minutes together, sisters,
what are your final thoughts that you'd like to share?
Sister Harkness.
Well, thank you, Sister Browning.
Before we end, I would like to share a few things
based on a recent conversation I had with a good friend of mine.
She is going through an experience that
would cause many of us to ask a lot of questions, some of which
have no answer.
When I asked her, "How are you holding on to your faith
with what you are experiencing?" she said to me,
"Well, I read my scriptures every day.
I pray many times every day.
And I have committed to myself that I will never
allow someone else's comments or example to prevent me
from living the gospel of Jesus Christ."
I was so touched by her answer.
She's a wonderful example to me of determined discipleship.
These three things could also help us all
when we have unanswered gospel questions.
You know, questions like gender issues, Church history facts,
heavenly mother, and so many others.
Sisters, even when there are things
we don't know or understand, we can always
know the most essential truths.
For example, we can know our Heavenly Father loves us
because we are His children.
We can know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer,
and that peace in this life is found
by following in His footsteps.
We can know what His voice has to tell us
as we improve our ability to receive personal revelation.
And we can know God will always fulfill His promises.
Sometimes though, His promises may
look like they are very far away from us.
You know, kind of out on the horizon somewhere.
But sisters, their distance has nothing
to do with their very real existence.
God's promises are sure.
I know we can believe Him.
You are loved.
May you go forward in faith with a firm commitment
to keep your covenants, relying always
on the merits and mercy of our Savior Jesus Christ.
Thanks you, Sister Harkness.
Sister Craven.
I'd also like to end by saying something
about personal revelation.
I love that the Lord knows me so well
and He knows how I hear Him best.
There are times when I hear Him in the middle of crazy loud
chaos and confusion, but mostly it's
during times that I'm quiet that I hear Him the best.
Like when I'm reading my scriptures or saying my prayers
or just being really still.
But there was a time when I was worried about my ability
to stay focused during my prayers and scripture study,
because I found myself just being distracted like a lot.
Things just kept popping into my head that
had nothing to do with what I was praying about
or studying about.
And I was really bothered about that for a long time
until I realized that the Lord was actually speaking to me.
I wasn't being distracted at all,
but rather that the Spirit was bringing thoughts and ideas
to my remembrance that the Lord needed me to know or do.
So now I pay really close attention
to those thoughts that pop into my mind.
I know that we all have questions.
And we don't know the answers to many things.
And I certainly have a lot of questions as well.
But this just does not shake my faith.
I have had spiritual experiences in the past
that I draw upon when I need to draw upon them.
And I intentionally now seek for spiritual experiences
that I can draw upon in the future.
Those experiences help me stay rooted in the gospel.
Now, I don't know everything, but I do know what I know.
And I know that I'm a daughter of heavenly parents.
I know that Jesus is my Savior.
And I know that when we seek revelation
by counseling with the Lord in all of our doings,
that He will direct us for good.
And I count on that.
Thank you, Sister Craven.
Sister Aburto.
Well, I would just like to say that I
know that there have been many questions that have not
been answered.
Well, we just need to keep looking
for that revelation from God.
And I know that we will receive it.
And also, when we seek spiritual knowledge,
let's concentrate in the principles, in the doctrine,
in the promises.
And let us also remember that repentance is a joyful thing.
I also would like to take just a minute or two to invite
all of us to try to understand better what Relief Society is.
You know, since I have had this calling,
I've had sisters coming to me and apologizing.
They say things like, oh Sister Aburto, I'm so sorry.
I am not active in Relief Society
because I have been serving in Primary or Young Women.
And you know what I do?
I just give a hug to that sisters
and I tell them, "My dear sister,
you are among the most active members of Relief Society
because you are blessing our children and our youth."
So I would just like to tell all of us,
Relief Society is not a room in a building.
It's not an hour every two weeks when we get together.
It's not an activity.
It is the women of the Church.
It is us.
Each of us, all of us.
And we can be armed with righteousness
and with the power of God to prepare
the earth for the Second Coming, to save souls,
to defend our soul and our homes from spiritual dangers,
to declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation,
to perpetrate righteousness in an organized way, collectively
and also individually.
So we are always in Relief Society.
So let us seek first "the kingdom
of God, and His righteousness; and all of these things
shall be added onto [us]."
Let us fill ourselves with charity,
so "the doctrine of the priesthood
[can] distil upon [our souls like] the dews [of] heaven."
I know that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us.
I know that we have a Savior, and that we
need to try to hear Him, and follow His Spirit that
will guide us through our life.
Please my dear sisters, keep trying.
Please don't give up.
We love you.
We pray for you.
You are laying the foundation of a great work,
and out of small things proceed that which is great.
And I say this humbly in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Amen.
Thank you, sisters, for this beautiful conversation today.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences
and instruction with us.
It's been a privilege and truly inspiring to learn and feel
the Spirit together in this very unique way.
We know that during this time, every day holds
a new set of feelings for all of us,
and we've been so strengthened by your words,
by your testimonies, and by the Spirit that we've felt.
And to our dear sisters who have joined
us to listen to today's conversation, we love you
and we pray for you, particularly
that you keep safe and healthy until we meet again.